Saturday, 23 July 2016

The 5 Biggest Motivation Murderers And How To Kill Them - Martise Moore (everydaypowerblog)

The 5 Biggest Motivation Murderers And How To Kill Them

motivation killers
Photo Credit via Unsplash:Curtis Mac Newton
As a Run Faster Coach, it’s my job to help my clients stay motivated and avoid motivation killers. They all come to me wanting to run faster for a specific event. Sometimes they want to prepare for a race or a marathon, and sometimes they want to train for a military or law-enforcement fitness test. Some clients, meanwhile, simply want to become betters athletes in their sport. No matter what their reasons are, one thing is constant—it’s important to them.
Now even though I don’t know what your goals and dreams are, I know that they’re important to you too. I also know that without action, that’s all they’ll ever be—another goal and another dream. But action doesn’t just happen. It takes motivation.
When we first set out on a goal, we’re usually excited about it. We start imagining how great it will be when we accomplish it…and then all of a sudden, our life-changing project gets put on the back burner. This is an all too common phenomenon with common results.

If you’re ready to be extraordinary and get extraordinary results, take note of these 5 motivation killers and how to avoid them:

Mistake #1: Little to no commitment

Having a life-changing goal doesn’t mean much if you’re not committed to seeing it through. How many times have you started something and never finished it? Odds are, you give up simply because you don’t have any skin in the game. If there’s nothing to lose it’s easy to just walk away.

Step Forward: Increase Your Level of Commitment

Commitment is a measure of motivation. Therefore, the higher your level of commitment, the more motivated you are to make it happen. One of the most powerful ways to raise your engagement level is to invest in a growth program. Once you’ve spent money, you’re more inclined to stay engaged.
Another effective way to increase your commitment is to share it with the world. The more people you tell, the more motivated you will be to achieve it. This is an important step because your natural desire to look good boosts your motivation.

Mistake #2: Going from zero to 100

Have you ever jumped into a new activity or lifestyle that required an enormous amount of self-discipline or self-deprivation? Of course you have. We’ve all done it. And it usually doesn’t end well.
Making extreme changes in your behavior over a short period of time is hard to sustain. Willpower will only get you so far. It takes way too much effort. It’s your habits that will take you the farthest. They require the least amount of thought and effort and are therefore not motivation killers.

Step Forward: Stay Consistent

Consistency is key to building new habits. You don’t just get up one day and run a marathon. You train for it—consistently—for months. You start off slow and gradually increase your mileage. Then suddenly, what you once thought was impossible becomes possible. Consistency will get you wins. And every win will build your confidence and motivation, as you take forward, consistent steps towards your goal.

Mistake #3: Doing It Alone

Even the most self-motivated person can lose momentum during the ups and downs of pursuing a goal. The pressure to perform and complexity of the project can be overwhelming. This is one of the most common motivation killers.

Step Forward: Stay in Community

It’s important to stay in community, because community skyrockets your motivation. Your family is your immediate community; but sometimes you gotta seek out people who actually understand you. You want a community that gets why you want to run 26.2 miles, despite your perfectly running motor vehicle. You also want to be around people who’ve been where you’ve been and are now way ahead of you. Their knowledge base and experiences are invaluable.
That’s the magic of community: it multiples your motivation. Not only do you receive support and energy from the group, you also get to serve and pump up the other members. And let me tell you, one of the best energizers in life is the rush you get from helping other people achieve their goals. It’s like their wins are your wins too : )

Mistake #4: No Guidance

If you’re on your way to a destination and you don’t know where you’re going, you tend to get lost. And if you don’t have a map or GPS, you’ll waste a lot of time and energy trying to find your way. After a while, you’ll start to feel stuck. Until eventually, frustration and hopelessness sets in and you lose all desire to get to your original destination.
Sound familiar?

Step Forward: Stay Coached

There’s a reason why all professional athletes have coaches. Having a coach is the best way to stay motivated and at the top of your game. Their trained eyes can immediately identify inefficiencies and opportunities that can boost your results.
A coach is also your accountability partner, so your excuses have no place to hide. He/she will push you towards your goals by keeping you out of your comfort zone. The only way to get faster results is to get into your growth zone.

Mistake #5: You Stop Believing

This is the biggest mistake of them all. Belief creates motivation. If you don’t believe in something, you’re not going to fight for it. You’re not going to take a stand and invest your time, money or energy in it. That would be foolish. It’s not easy to believe in something you can’t see. That’s why it’s called faith. You’re never going to know the exact outcome of your journey. And that’s okay. That’s part of the fun.
It’s so easy to lose our beliefs the minute something goes wrong. Fear is usually the elephant in the room. Don’t let fear deter you from your greatness. It can convince you that you’re not good enough and that things will never work out.

Step Forward: Run a Self-Belief Campaign

Your actions are based on your self-belief. So if you want to stay motivated and crush some BIG goals, you need a self-belief campaign.
Here are the campaign components:

Get clear

Clarity supercharges your belief. It’s a total game changer. The clearer you are about your mission and how you’re going to achieve it, the easier and faster everything else becomes. Your actions come from a place of power and confidence instead of fear and weakness.

Tow the party line

If you keep telling yourself something over and over again, whether it’s true or not, eventually you will believe it. It becomes your story. If your story is that you never finish things and you’re not good enough, than you will always have a way out the moment things get tough. I challenge you to transform your story. Keep telling yourself how powerful and unstoppable are, and you’ll find ways to breakthrough any obstacle.

Drink the Kool-Aid

Every day, for the rest of your life, read books and listen to speakers who tell you how great you are—AND BELIEVE THEM!
So what’s your motivation? Leave your old stories and excuses in the past. You’re the only one who can take control of your future. What forward steps are you going to take, today, to turn your aspirations into achievement?

3 Signs That Prove You Have A Time Management Problem - Kirstin O’Donovan (addicted 2 success)

3 Signs That Prove You Have A Time Management Problem

Kirstin O’Donovan
how to solve your time management problems
Image Credit | thetimediet

If you compare this era to the previous, it’s obvious how many more responsibilities and different elements of life we now juggle daily. The list is never ending: from work, to personal, to family, friends, and relationships; it’s no wonder a work-life balance remains an elusive dream for many.

The bad news is that we continue to take on more; but the good news is you can juggle everything in life, get a lot done and still have fun. We are taught so many important things in school, but who taught us to manage our time and get everything done that we really want to? Unless your parents did, probably no one. Yet it is one of the most important skills to have, not only to have balance in your life, but to be successful in everything you do.
The ironic part of it all is that even though what you do with your time is what gives you your results in life, most people don’t give enough importance to it, until it becomes chronic and they have no choice.
Here are my top 3 warning signs that say you have a time management problem and what to do about them:

1. Life always feel like a rush

Do you feel like you are constantly rushing around like a headless chicken putting out fires or jumping from one task to another without a break? If you don’t have time to sit down for 5 minutes and do nothing, then you seriously need to explore this more.
If this sounds like you, you’ve got to start planning your days better. Take out your calendar, write in your non-negotiable tasks for the day and block off the time it will take. Then looking at your remaining time, what is the best use of this?
Take items from your to-do list, prioritize the most important and then fill up the rest of your day with those tasks. And always, don’t plan more than 75% of your time, because things will come up. If you just can’t get everything done – start delegating, including your personal tasks.
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Altshuler

2. Making excuses constantly

It’s a fact that even though it takes time to plan, you save more time by planning than when you don’t. Be honest with yourself, how often do you find yourself saying ’I don’t have time’? The fact is, we all have 24 hours in a day, it’s not time that is lacking, it is your ability to manage it effectively.
Let’s agree, the super successful individuals always find a way. They don’t entertain the excuse of ‘I don’t have time’, they find the time. If this is you, firstly, there is nothing empowering about excuses.
So, what needs to change? What do you need to change about the way you are being and doing things to have more time? And a good place to start is by identifying your time thieves and what you can do to eliminate them. Nothing holds us back in life more than the lies we tell ourselves – called excuses.

3. You’re getting negative comments from others

This one really hurts sometimes, because you just don’t want to hear it. How often do other people make comments like ”you are always stressed out” or “you are always late” and worse “I’m really concerned and worried about you”. Sometimes it’s easier for others to see where we need to improve than it is ourselves. When it gets to the point that other people start to say things, you have to stop and take notice.
Don’t commit to plans that you know you might not be able to follow through with. Overcommitting and always saying ‘yes’ are huge contributors to stress. How much can you realistically commit to? You need to take responsibility for the stress you have in life.
The worst part of having time management challenges is not only do you feel stressed and cranky, you often miss important deadlines and opportunities and feel mentally and physically exhausted. Ironically you are actually making the choice to live this way.
“This is the key to time management – to see the value of every moment.” – Menachem Mendel Schneerso
The fact is when you manage your time, you manage your life better. You achieve more in months than you could in years and you can have the elusive work/life balance and achieve all your goals.  Life becomes more fun when we feel on top of it and not under it.
So where do you want to be, on top of your life or underneath it? How are you going to do that? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Saturday, 9 July 2016

The Number One Thing to Stop Doing to Become More Effective

We all have this crazy love-hate relationship with our To-Do list, right? (Ok, for many it might be straight-up hate or profound avoidance.) I get it because I talk to clients about it every day.

But there’s one major problem with how most of us approach our to-do list: We become obsessed with getting it ALL done ASAP! We start creating “Dream Lists” of 15-20 things that we are determined to complete today. Then, we only knock out 4-6 of them because other things get in the way, and we feel frustrated and depressed. Does this sound familiar?
If so, then I’m going to tell you the one secret that can immediately shift that destructive and disempowering pattern in your life. Even better, it’s something for you to STOP doing…Stop confusing your “Master List” for your “Today List.”

1. What is your “Master List”?

We all have dozens, if not hundreds, of things on our plates. Writing them down allows you to reflect and prioritize your actions. Capturing those tasks in one consistent place (a notebook, software app, etc), establishes the beginning of your “Master List.”
Your “Master List” is the one place where all your actions live. It’s where all those possible actions hang out until you’re ready for them. But, it’s not what you work from during each day. Trying to work from your “Master List” will feel crazy overwhelming because it will, and should be, never-ending.
In the best of all possible worlds you will still have a to-do list on the day you die. Having the list is a sign that you’ve stayed engaged in your life all the way to the end. In other words, having a list is a GOOD thing.
“The only thing more important than your to-do list is your to-be list. The only thing more important than your to-be list is to be.”   – Alan Cohen
The types of tasks on the list may evolve over time, but having a “Master List” is every bit as important as having a calendar to remind you of when to show up for the dentist or that lunch date with your friend.

2. What is your “Today List”?

If your “Master List” is where all your actions live until you choose to complete them, then your “Today List” is the SHORT selection of the items that are your priority for today. This list should have no more than four items on it.
Just four tasks? (And I do mean tasks, not projects. Actions that you can complete in 5-30 minutes.) This might sound like horrifying levels of under-achievement. But, things are going to come up. That call from your client, that urgent email response, the last minute errand for your kid’s homework. New tasks show up in our lives constantly each day.
When we choose our four priority tasks intentionally each day, then we can both keep ourselves focused and leave space for the urgent things to arise without knocking us off course or making us feel overwhelmed.
What I teach my clients is that your four daily tasks include: your “Inspired Action” and 3 bonuses. Your “Inspired Action” is a commitment that you’re making to yourself. This one item, come hell or high water, will get done before the end of the day. Once that’s accomplished, then the other three items are your next top priorities.
If you get through all four tasks on any given day, then celebrate! Seriously… 3 minute dance party, at least. When you’re done celebrating, then you can decide if you want to go back to your “Master List” and choose another task to power through. Or, you can leave space for inspiration, flow, or other activities as they arise. You’ll likely choose what works based on your energy and schedule for the day.
“Make each day your masterpiece”  – John Wooden
When you stop confusing your “Master List” for your “Today List”, then you increase your ability to focus and decrease your persistent sense of overwhelm. It’s one of the simplest, and fastest tricks to immediately improve your effectiveness each day.

10 Essential Principles To Be Unbelievably Confident

#1 – Be honest about your life and accept who you are

Let’s start from scratch.
Be brutally honest about where you are in life. Know it, feel it! Be honest about it to yourself and others. Stop denying and hiding from truths. What you deny, you can’t change.
Hard to grasp? Sit down and write it out.
I am a 28 year old guy in a shit job, wanting to travel the world. But can’t find the guts to cut some ties.
Your turn! The harder it is, the more you need to confront yourself.
Secondly – accept who you are.
You have strengths and weaknesses. And hey, you can improve them.
But not until you embrace who you are. Accept yourself as you are right now, with all your flaws and shortcomings. Find contentment in it. Because there is simply no other reality.
Through this utter acceptance you can you grow.

#2 Define your own values and framework

To grow confident you need to stop chasing illusions. Stop comparing yourself to what others demand of you. Or worse, what you think they expect from you.
Start by defining your own values. What is important to you? Why is it important? Start acting by these values.
Make a thorough analysis when defining your values. Make it profound.
Ask yourself: What implies my culture? And why? Do I agree? What did my parents teach me? Do I agree? And why? And so on. Get to the bottom of your thoughts and feelings.
Through reading, discussing and reflecting you can develop your set of standards and values. Use your own instinct, feelings and reasoning!
Recognize influence from group dynamics. So you won’t blindly follow the herd. Thinking for yourself means creating or choosing your own path in life.
Explore many sources to hone your thought and values. Read books and blogs. Have discussions and conversations. But always be critical and keep your wit.
Confident men and women define others by their standards. Not themselves by other people’s standards.
Create and follow your own moral compass.

#3 Go from outer reference to inner reference

There is definite proof that social media makes people feel bad. Why has he so many likes? Why is she going to cool parties etc.?
You might display similar behavior in the analog world. Why is he richer? Happier? Or more successful?
Strange how we make these unfair comparisons. We take a look at appearances and then compare it to how we feel inside.
We compare our inner-self, to the highly curated image of other people’s outer self.
A good recipe for misery.
Stop this unfair equation. Instead focus on yourself. To develop, think about how you make progress compared to your old self. Did I do better than the me of a month ago? Or a year ago? Did you make progress? That is success!
Progress of self is important for confidence.
And who is responsible for this confidence?
Who is responsible for success? And who for your failures? Where do you think control lies?
Confident people think it lies within themselves. They have cultivated an inner locus of control.
This means taking responsibility for your actions and results. You think you are responsible for how you feel and what you think.
Compare this to blaming everything on external actors. Like your boss, parents, the weather, or divine will. If you don’t think YOU are responsible, you won’t be inclined to improve.
Making yourself responsible will.
Granted, some things definitely are out of your control. But you are responsible for your reactions to these events.

#4 Adapt a growth mindset

As mentioned, developing and confidence go hand in hand. To stand still is to go backwards.
A fatal flaw people are susceptible to, is thinking their skills and character are set in stone. This deterministic mindset is incompatible with progress. It’s a limiting self-fulfilling prophecy.
If this is you, start adopting a growth mindset instead.
Know you can improve any skill! Know you can develop your character!
As long as you are alive, your body and mind can adapt to new challenges. Never think you can’t grow any further.
Furthermore, a healthy growth mindset acknowledges failure.
There is a lot of sketching before you draw a Mona Lisa. Redefine failure not as something stupid or dumb only for losers. But define it as a part of the learning process.
Failures will occur. Anticipate the impact and plan for getting back up!
Every failure is another lesson learned.

#5 Stop seeking validation and acceptance from others

As a person led by inner values you won’t need attention, validation and acceptance of others.
You might get it. You might even enjoy it.
But you don’t need it!
Stop actively seeking and craving it. Stop pleasing people to get it.
You can be nice to people! Of course! But it should come from a position of strength and compassion. Not from seeking acceptance and attention. Your own acceptance and moral integrity are the most important. Others can follow if they want.
If you condone behavior opposite to your values, or give away status to be accepted. You act without integrity. Losing confidence in the process.
Instead, stand by your values!

#6 Cultivate a Bias for the Positive

People have this amazing power to decide how they feel about events. A small pause between stimuli and reaction. As mentioned by  Victor Frankl.
Cultivate this little pause.  And use it to choose a more positive reaction.
Guide your responses away from annoyance, anger or fear. Go instead for interest, gratefulness or excitement.
You can actively rephrase your thought patterns. Train different ways of thinking and speaking.
Examples of redefining your view on the world are:
–    Think in solutions instead of problems
–    Reflect on past achievements instead of past transgressions.
–    Enjoy the process instead of only seeing the goal.
–    Never let a good crisis go to waste
–    Focus on what you want instead of what you avoid
Of course there will always be old negative thinking patterns. Try using them as little as possible and actively immerse your mind with positivity.
Read uplifting books. Use mantra’s to rewire your brain. Let go of toxic people and environments and embrace uplifting ones.
All little steps to be more optimistic and confident.
“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” – Frank Outlaw

#7 Lose self-limiting beliefs

When we grow up, we create models of the world.
We construct beliefs that explain what happens around us. X happens because of Y. End of story.
These beliefs can be deeply ingrained in our thinking.
But, a lot of beliefs are flawed. They limit your progress and possibilities. They prevent you from action and enjoying life.
Grow beyond these scripts.
First recognize them. When you think “I can’t do X because of Y.” Or anything similar, be alert!
Analyze whether that statement is true. And why. Reason even furthers. ‘Why do I think that?’ ‘Are not other people doing the same thing?’ Find prove that it is possible, contradicting your initial limiting belief.
Then redefine your scripts. Because these imposed scripts will limit you. Instead of thinking I can’t do this. Think I can do X despite Y.
This is a hard and elusive problem – but it can be countered!

#8 Forgive yourself and others

We all fuck up in life.
It’s a good idea to remind yourself everyday of your mistakes. And make yourself feel very miserable.
No of course not!!
You should learn from your mistakes. Absolutely. But wallowing in negative feelings won’t help. There is little you can change about past events. It has happened.
Instead: Own up to it, fix the problem if you can, forgive yourself, learn and move on. Don’t waste time and energy feeling bummed out about it.
Take the time to forgive yourself for mistakes.
Also – stop holding grudges. It is no good to keep being mad or grieved at others for their mistakes. Let go of it, you’ll release yourself from emotional poison.
Forgiveness allows you to focus on the now and the future instead of dwelling in the past.

#9 Be Self Reliant

Part of being confident is you know everything will be all right. Especially when shit hits the fan.
Got dumped? Got laid off? Dust yourself off, and tell yourself it will be all right.
No spiraling down in destructive self-pity. No bouts of whining and comfort seeking from friends and family.
Of course you can mourn. You can be sad or melancholic. It is not about being happy and joyful all the time. We all experience a wide range of emotion. Important emotions that are part of the human experience.
But inside, you know you the bad times will pass.
So you will tell yourself.
You will feel good and grow stronger in the future.

#10 Don’t take yourself too seriously

We are all insignificant bags of meat and bones. Trying to make meaning of a collection of random events called life.
People seeking power, fame and money are just looking for that bliss they had as a child. When life wasn’t that hard, when we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves.
Were you taking things seriously back then? I guess not right. Is there any reason to be serious about everything now? In a world filled with randomness? No reason at all.
Go with the flow and laugh about your own mistakes, successes and theatrics!
The world’s a stage and we are best in fooling ourselves with our performances! Choose the role you want and enjoy it. Knowing fully well, it is all a game if you just choose to play and have fun.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.  –Elbert Hubbard
Becoming confident comes at a price.
A change of heart and mind. Believe me, it is well worth it. If you succeed, you will still have ups and down in life. But also a steady level contentment. An anchor of stability that keeps you going without all too much problems.
So how can you possible make this shift? Small consistent steps. Here are some action to get started:
  • Define your own values
    • Sit down and reflect, evaluate and define what is important to you
    • Reflect and refine your values over your life
    • Live true to them
  • Start a meditation practice to gain insight and control over your mind
  • Stop watching social media compulsively
    • Read positive, growth focused books, blogs and movies
    • Start slow, you will get there step by step. Start taking control and responsibility for your mind.
I love to hear your thoughts on all this. Let me know what opened your mind? Where are you struggling to become confident?